Things All Girls Will Understand If They’ve Dated A Solicitor

Things All Girls Will Understand If They’ve Dated A Solicitor

If you’ve dated/slept with/husband-ed (is that a verb yet?) a lawyer/solicitor/barrister, the chances are you’ll relate to these 17 points on an emotional level.

1. He’s surprisingly not great at watching legal dramas with. Because he’ll pick holes in absolutely everything and be all like “that’s not how it actually happens”. DON’T RAIN ON MY SUITS PARADE, OK?

2. He will think he’s right about everything. Whether that involves Marge Simpson’s middle name or who last did the washing up, he’s very good at believing he’s right.

3. He’ll have very strong beliefs – and of course, thinks they’re all absolutely spot on and that there is no alternative. “Yes brie is the best cheese and I’ll argue until the early hours about why I’m right.” (ok ok so not quite but you get the idea.)

4. He’ll work looong hours and whatever’s going on in the office won’t be far from his brain. But in some ways this is good because it means you really appreciate the time you have together.

5. A lot of the time, you probably won’t really know what he’s talking about because there’s loads of detail to everything and it’s all very fact specific. Or maybe that’s just me. Do other people understand these things? DO THEY?

6. He’s incredibly confident and/or arrogant. You’ll have moments when you think ‘I still can’t tell if my boyfriend’s insanely cocky or just has mega confidence and we’ve been together for three years.’

7. He’s argumentative. He argues for a living for Christ’s sake, so anything that involves a bit of conflict or disagreement at the dinner table? He’s down for it.

8. He appreciates a good suit. Well, doesn’t everyone?

9. They get invited to lots of fancy events which may or may not involve having a plus one. Dinners, drinks, mixing with potential clients – you probably know the drill.

10. They’re not great at losing at anything, so your cute date over the Scrabble board or playing tennis is probably off the cards unless you fancy nursing his ego afterwards.

11. He’s got a very good memory. All that law training, university lectures and memorising text books off by heart wasn’t for nothing – as now not only is he a trained lawyer now, but he’s also got a fab memory. Agh.

12. He’s quite good at turning on the charm at any given moment, because he’s used to having to do it with work colleagues or potential clients. He’s a HUGE hit with your family.

Things That Can Be More Harmful To Your Relationship Than Cheating

Things That Can Be More Harmful To Your Relationship Than Cheating

Cheating is definitely one quick, big way to absolutely annihilate a relationship, but there are plenty of other things that are much more potent when it comes to ruining even the strongest of bonds. Some of the worst things that lead to a breakup (that aren’t cheating) start out small and indiscernible, and that’s what makes them so dangerous.

1. Lying to and hiding things from your partner. Even if you’re doing it out of love to protect their feelings, keeping little things from someone you’re dating can grow into a big problem and cause trust issues that wreck a relationship. You should be able to tell your partner pretty much anything. If you’re hiding something because it would hurt them, then you probably shouldn’t do that thing in the first place.

2. Withholding any kind of affection. Whether affection means being really touchy-feely, asking each other intense questions about meaningful things, or helping each other through obstacles, being absent and unaffectionate can cause the kind of doubts in a relationship that end up being irreparable.

3. Harbouring quiet resentment. By the time resentment is expressed, the damage is already done to the relationship. It starts out quietly but becomes something big over time, which is what makes it so damaging.

4. Lack of communication. This doesn’t mean not texting all day every day, but failing to talk to each other about things that bother you when they come up, or conveniently leaving out details that you think might cause problems. All that shit just gets bottled up or revealed eventually, and by the time that happens, it’s usually unmanageable. 

5. Being stubborn about things or getting entrenched in certain positions. This is just another way of saying “refusing to compromise.” If you like somebody, you should be willing to compromise. Partners who can only handle things if they go a certain way (their way) are basically just in relationships with themselves. 

6. Bickering about mundane, daily issues and chores. Sure, the argument you always have about whose turn it is to empty the bins seems like no big deal now, but that’s the sort of thing that just becomes a great issue over time, and even worse, becomes ammo for bigger, more serious arguments down the road. 

7. Condescension. Talking down to a partner is just another way of making yourself bigger or more powerful than them, and a power imbalance is the last thing you want in a lasting, healthy relationship. Condescension is worse than cheating because it makes your self esteem shit, so even after the relationship ends, you still feel the damage. 

8. Staying in a relationship out of convenience. Whether it’s because you don’t want to disappoint your families with a breakup, or because you have concert tickets in six months or whatever, staying together just because you feel you should only leads to bitter resentment and an inordinate amount of fighting and heartbreak, when there was a chance you might’ve been able to remain friendly. 

9. Manipulation. This is tricky because it’s often so subtle, and you don’t realize you’re being manipulated by your partner (or doing the manipulating) until it’s way too late. The relationships that have left me ‘broken’ (both of which I left, by the way, so this isn’t a case of heartbreak…) have been through gradual loss of self esteem during the relationship through a process of manipulation by the other partner.

10. Jealousy. Even without actual cheating, just the suspicion that it’s always happening can be much, much worse.

11. Presenting a false version of yourself at the beginning. This can be as simple and small as pretending to like horror movies when you actually hate them, or as big as saying you’re not looking for anything serious when, in fact, you are. It’s best to be upfront from the get to, because those little things can become huge reasons to breakup over time. 

12. Staying together because you’ve become codependent. You’re together because you’re codependent and neither of you wants to be single. Or in other words, you don’t have chemistry anymore, and the only reason you’re together is so you don’t have to be alone. 

10 signs he doesn’t know how to go down on you

10 signs he doesn’t know how to go down on you

Just to clarify, I’m speaking about a previous relationship, not a current one!!

1. He switches up his tactics just when you’re getting into it. Juuuust as you feel like you’re on the edge, he starts moving his tongue side-to-side instead of in circles. You practically scream at him to not stop, but it’s too late and you’ve lost that loving feeling. Meanwhile he’s looking at you like, “What did I do?”

2. He tells you he “doesn’t do that.” This is a stupid reason unless he has some kind of oral sex PTSD.

3. He keeps popping his head up to ask, “Do you like that?” This is not the time to be taking a survey.

4. He asks, “Is this the vagina?” when he gets to your belly button. All right, maybe he isn’t that bad, but for some reason, when he’s going down on you, you can’t stop thinking about the time you took a family trip to Cornwall, and your mum was driving and got lost and refused to ask for directions. As in, he has no idea where his is and you just want him to get to the Clitoris Monument.

5. He keeps trying to move things along to the sex part. Understandably, this is lots of people’s favourite part. But he seems to really rush through things, like a kid downing carrots to get to dessert.

6. He’s not very enthusiastic. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Enthusiasm is the mother of effort,” and he probably said it with a mouthful of vagina. If he’s not into it, it could be because he’s too focused on splitting his time between figuring how things work down there and panicking.

7. He’s poking you in the vagina with his fingers. Poking never feels good, regardless of the part of the body you’re doing it to.

8. He can’t get comfortable. He’s flopping around on the mattress like a fish because he can’t lie down right and it’s really taking you out of the moment because fish are not sexy.

9. He’s pretty much asked, “What do you want me to do?”

10. He’s asked if you want to mutually masturbate. Hey, mutual masturbation can be sexy, but not when it’s offered up with a resigned sigh. He’s basically giving up and asking you to do it yourself.

What To Look Out For In A Good Boyfriend

What To Look Out For In A Good Boyfriend

1. He asks about how your friend Becky is doing after her breakup. Him caring about your friends and asking about them later not only shows that he’s a caring person, but he’s invested in your life and the people in it.

2. After he met Becky for the first time, he was like, “Do you think that went well?” You don’t want to end up with a guy who’s like I don’t care if your friends hate me, they suck anyway. That’s just a logistical nightmare and is surely going to end in some severed ties with people you really care about.

3. When you bring up that your boss is being rude to you at work, he doesn’t sigh and roll his eyes because you’re “complaining again.” If he can’t sit through a five minute tirade about a lame work situation, he won’t be able to sit down with you when something seriously big goes wrong.

4. He’s polite to waiters and cashiers and doesn’t do that awful thing where you yell “BILL, PLEASE” across the restaurant. It might have been cool to date the guy who was sweet to you but an asshole to everyone else when you were 13 and bullies were kind of sexy, but that sort of relationship doesn’t hold up in adulthood. Don’t date a man-bully who could very well turnaround and bully you if you piss him off.

5. He doesn’t desert you at his friends’ parties.  It’s ok for him to encourage you to be friendly with his friends, but it’s not ok for him to have an exclusive conversation with Steve while you sit alone awkwardly on the couch.

6. He always offers to share the last slice of pizza with you and then doesn’t say anything when you “accidentally” eat way more than half of it. If the last slice is sacred enough for Drake to rap about it in a love song, then it must be a real sign of a potentially great romance.

7. He doesn’t manspread across your entire schedule and take over your whole world. It might be flattering if the guy you just met wants to spend all his time with you, but if he’s really invested in who you are as a person, he’ll encourage you to be your own person and hang out with him when you both have time.

8. He’s genuinely interested in (or at least good at faking it) your long, rambly stories about family vacations you took as a kid. Instead of getting frustrated and impatient when you talk for 10 minutes about that one weird trip you went on in 2007, he’s excited to hear about what happened after that fight you had with your cousin in the backseat of the car.

9. He doesn’t get upset when you say you need some alone time. You would understand if he needed some, and he doesn’t want to take over your life anyway.

10. He never says things like, “You’re being crazy,” or, “You’re being ridiculous.” Because he’s compassionate and empathetic, and realizes saying things like that make you feel little and stupid, and a good boyfriend would never do those things.

11. He makes you feel like a hot babe all the time. You don’t want to spend a significant amount of time with a guy who makes you feel insecure or question whether or not he’s attracted to you.

12. He has female friends who aren’t aren’t just a collection of women who’ve seen his penis before. If other girls (who aren’t exes or former flings) like him enough to be his friend, he’s probably a good guy that you’ll also enjoy spending time with.

13. He gets really excited when you hit it off with his best friend Tom, just like he knew you would. He wants his friends to like you.

14. You don’t find a million texts and missed calls on your phone from him after spending a night out with your girlfriends. This is a red flag of a potentially obsessive or manipulative guy. NOPE.

15. He doesn’t try to act hard and pretend he doesn’t have feelings when he’s around you. Mature adults shouldn’t be afraid to say things like, “I like you,” or, “I think you’re really cool.”

16. He texts after work to see how that meeting with your boss went. It would be annoying AF for him to be texting you every 10 minutes when he knows you’re busy all day, but checking in later shows he cares the right amount.

17. He doesn’t rush you out the door when you’re trying to make sure your lip liner is perfectly applied and not smudged. He might do a little bit of gentle ribbing about how slow you are, but he shouldn’t shame you for taking your time and trying to look good. That’s rude.

18. When he screws up, he’s quick to apologize instead of letting you stew in your anger for a week and a half. Stubbornness is actually an incredibly unattractive quality, and it only makes little fights turn into enormous ones. And a good boyfriend typically tries to avoid enormous fights.

19. And when you screw up, he doesn’t hold a grudge forever like a sullen teen. If he isn’t perfect, he can’t expect you to be perfect, either. He forgives.

20. He has interests and hobbies aside from dating you. You want to date a person, not a pre-packaged boyfriend. That gets so boring so fast.

21. When you’re hanging out, he talks about things he wants to do with you in the future, even if it’s just the near future.  

22. He doesn’t immediately start acting like your boyfriend after hanging out one time in a friend’s back yard. Going from 0-100 real quick is a good way to end up crashing and burning before the relationship ever gets started. This guy gets to know you. You know, like an adult person.

23. He sends a “hey I had a lot of fun” text after hanging out with you. He isn’t trying to follow any bullshit dating rules about waiting three days before texting or calling. He just likes you is all.

24. He’s clear about his intentions early on, instead of leaving you in is he a hookup or a boyfriend? limbo for forever. If he doesn’t know what he wants, and doesn’t figure it out in a reasonable amount of time, he probably never will.

25. He gets excited about showing you things he likes. Not because he wants you to be his weird female twin, but because this is the best part of having a good girlfriend.

How To Be A Better Friend

How To Be A Better Friend

It can be easy in today’s technology world to allow our friendships to fall by the wayside of texting and tweeting and emailing instead of investing ourselves and our energy into actually spending quality time with people. And in an age where the phrase “I’m crazy busy” has become synonymous with “here’s my excuse why I’ve been a crappy friend to you”…I say it’s time to stop letting our friendships suffer in favor of work or Netflix or even romance. When all else fails…when the guy walks away or the dream job goes up in smoke or the seven-season series we’re binging on Netflix comes to an end (and what is life when that happens? I have to always spend a day gathering myself when a binge-watch is over)…our friends are the ones who will still be there. Rooting for us, supporting us, reminding us of who we really are when the rest of the world has forgotten. Having just come through a bit of a friendship storm with one of my dearest, I feel compelled to share what I learned through the experience. So here are a few ways you can (pretty easily) be a better friend.

  1. COMMUNICATION. Communication. Communication. If your friend does something to hurt your feelings, tell them. Be honest with them. And then give them a chance to change. So many times we get upset that someone isn’t meeting our needs when we haven’t bothered to communicate them. You have to give someone the CHANCE to change before you decide that they’re not capable of change. Communicate your grievance to your friend in an upfront and respectful way, let them know that what they did or didn’t do hurt you, and then give them the opportunity to make things right. 99% of the time, if it’s a true friend, they will be open to whatever you have to say and eager to modify their behavior the next time around so they don’t cause you unnecessary pain.
  2. Lower your expectations. Your friends don’t have to be Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha to still be really amazing friends. And also don’t expect something from a friend that you wouldn’t be willing to do for them. You have to first BE a friend to HAVE a friend. I have found that I tend to walk around expecting people and myself and LIFE to be a certain way so often, I never really allow myself to just enjoy what they are, what I am, and what it is. A wise man once said: “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” Learn to drop the preconceived notion of who you think your friends should be and just embrace who they are, in all their imperfect, flawed, broken glory. No friend is ever going to be perfect. And that’s good news. Because guess what? You aren’t, either. Don’t expect a standard from others that you aren’t even meeting yourself.
  3. Understand that it’s not always about you. Maybe your friend hasn’t called you in a while because she’s going through something so unimaginable, she can’t put it into words. Maybe it has nothing whatsoever to do with you. Maybe instead of sending her angry texts asking her why she doesn’t seem to want to be your friend anymore, you should send her concerned texts asking her if everything is okay. Or stop with the texts all together and pick up the phone and call. The truth is, sometimes people just simply aren’t capable of being there for you at the very moment you need them, in the very way you need them to be. Life happens and things come up and sometimes we just need to extend a little grace. Give people the benefit of the doubt. And quit making everything all about us. A self-focused life is a very lonely life. When we can only see what is hurting or offending or bothering US…we miss out on opportunities to be there for other people. And there’s nothing that makes life happier and friendships stronger than stepping outside ourselves and putting ourselves in another person’s shoes.

What would you add to this list? Have you had an experience in which one of the suggestion helped strengthen or even save a friendship? Sound off in the comments below!

What Always Happens When The Sun Comes Out In Wales

What Always Happens When The Sun Comes Out In Wales

Ok, so this weekend we had a little glimpse of sunshine, and all the stereotypical Welsh reactions were witnessed….

1. Your eyes will be streaming, you’ll look an absolute state, people will ask if you’re ok. Have you just broken up with your boyfriend? No, you’ve just got a million tiny pieces of pollen up your nose.

2. You’ll insist on ditching the red wine in favour of Pimms and fruity ciders. And insist on drinking said drinks outside. In just a t-shirt. When it’s only 12 degrees.

3. You’ll see a whole parade of topless men showcasing their paunches and tattoos, whilst cradling beers in a faint cloud of tobacco and BO. Dreamy, no?

4. You’ll start sporting an attractive new facial accessory. A pink, slightly flaky, crumbly nose. Ain’t sunburn grand?

5. Portable barbecues will sell out, and families and groups of friends across the country will enjoy charcoal coated sausages and raw burgers together. Yummo.

6. You’ll start to carry emergency sunglasses in your bag. Next to your umbrella, mind.

7. Ice lollies, ice creams, sorbets, slush puppies, ice cubes. You’ll insist on replacing your daily twenty cups of tea with anything cold, just to make a point that you’ve no longer got the heating on.

8. Because there are very few hot days of the year and they sort of take you by surprise, you’ll find yourself smiling at your neighbours, chatting to strangers in the supermarket (whilst paying for your crate of Pimms, five cartons of strawberries and pack of choc ices) and saying hi to people in the street. It’s a jolly time.

9. You’ll shave your legs. No biggie, except it’ll be the first time in six months.

10. You’ll decide to visit a park. A dog will almost attack you, a wasp will come close to your face, you’ll scream and dive to avoid a child on a bike, and you’ll see a group of teenagers hiding in the bushes getting drunk and wearing crop tops.

11. You’ll wear a bikini as underwear. Y’know, just in case.

12. You’ll think about ditching the pies, pasta bakes and potatoes for a light salad.

13. You’ll take your second duvet off your bed, which will leave you with only one duvet and three blankets. Risky.

14. You’ll wear the new gladiator sandals you bought in February (because you need to be prepared for an early summer, right?) and they’ll instantly make your feet bleed. Oh.

15. Boys will drive past you in very loud ugly cars with Kiss FM blaring out the windows. Oh please Mr Sexy, please come back and let me in your car, said no girl ever.

16. You’ll Instagram about four photos. A selfie in your sunglasses, a scenic shot of the park or beach, one of your ice cream and the classic hot dogs or legs set-up. We’re so predictable, right?

17. Chaffing. Eeeek.

18. You’ll spend 71% of the day exclaiming how warm it is and refreshing your iPhone weather app. LOOK, LOOK HOW WARM IT IS RIGHT NOW.

19. You’ll be positively happy, crazy person happy, because isn’t sunshine after a long, miserable winter, one of the loveliest feelings, ever?


The Top 8 Books All Single Women Should Read

The Top 8 Books All Single Women Should Read

I’ve wanted to write this blog for a really long time. Since I am a bookworm, the #1 way I get inspired in whatever season of life I’m in is through the written word. While there are a TONNE of books out there that I think send the wrong messages to singles (anything having to do with “make any man fall in love with you” or “get married in 6 months or less by reading this book!”)…there are also some really great books out there that have inspired, challenged, and motivated me to embrace my single life. And now I want to share those books with you! Some of them you may heard of…some of them you probably haven’t…but ALL of them are guaranteed to make you laugh, make you think, and make you a little more confident to say “I’m single because I’m TOO FABULOUS TO SETTLE!!🙂

8. Angry Conversation With God by Susan E. Isaacs – For any single woman who has ever had moments of feeling like God has forgotten you…this book is for you. A friend introduced me to this book and all I had to do was read the back cover to be sold. Unhappy with how her love life is going and still single at age 40, Susan decides to call God to the carpet by taking him to “couple’s therapy.” Susan’s rocky, real, raw, HONEST relationship with God was something I could relate to immediately, as one who has never tiptoed politely around God and has had more than a few wrestling matches with him myself about life and love.  Wildly funny and exceptionally moving, this book had me laughing hysterically one minute and crying just as hysterically the next. Does Susan find her Happily Ever After at the end of the book? You’ll have to read it to find out.

7. It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken by Greg Behrendt – You might have heard of Greg’s book He’s Just Not That Into You (that just might be popping up later on this list), but have you heard of his follow-up book? For anyone who has ever been through a breakup (and who hasn’t?), this book is like the Breakup Bible. And it comes from a man, so it’s like having a built-in guy friend to be the voice of reason in your post-breakup, driving by the guy’s house, stalking his Facebook page misery. I’ve actually read this book a number of times and can’t recommend it enough. Throw out the Ben & Jerry’s and reach for this book instead. It’ll save you hundreds of pounds and hours in therapy!

6. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp – This book needs to be read by every person, single or not. I can’t tell you how much this book changed my life, my thought processes, my approach to happiness. Ann is a such a beautiful writer, it feels almost as though you’re reading poetry. She details her journey to list 1,000 things in her life to be grateful for and how that journey changed her life. How finding joy in little things brought even bigger things into her life. How learning to simply say THANK YOU and show gratitude opened the door to joy in her heart. This book opened my eyes to a whole layer of life and joy and blessings that I spent most of my life starring blindly at.

5. Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliot – This is written from a Christian perspective, it is honestly for anyone striving to honor their bodies and remain pure until marriage. Elisabeth is very vulnerable and open about her struggle to hold out for God’s best and to trust His perfect timing in her life, and the love story between her and her eventual husband, Jim Elliott, is completely captivating and inspiring to anyone who has also struggled to trust God completely by submitting their love life to Him. I’ve read this book numerous times and every time it blessed me in a new way, and always renews my hope that no matter how uncertain my path might look NOW, God has a plan for my life that goes far beyond anything I could ever imagine.

4. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown – This book absolutely shook me to my core, and then shook me some more. It is a complete game-changer for anyone, married or single, who is looking to lead a more authentic, transparent life. No matter where we’re at in our lives, vulnerability is necessary to build the career and the relationships and the lives that we dream of. So many of us hide behind walls of shame and self-doubt and fear, we never allow anyone to get close enough to us to see the real us, and this book is all about tearing down those walls to walk in the freedom of Just. Being. You. If you’re tired of settling for just breezing through life at the status quo, this book will show you how to love yourself for exactly who you are instead of who the world thinks you should be while challenging you to lead a bigger, bolder, braver life.

3. The Between Boyfirends Book by Cindy Chupack – Prepare to laugh out loud through this entire book. Reading this collection of essays by former writer for Sex & the City Cindy Chupack is like sitting down to dinner with your four best girlfriends and swapping stories about your wildest and funniest dating and life fiascos until you’re all breathless with laughter. Anytime I need a little pick-me-up, I reach for my very worn copy of this book. If you’ve ever had a bad date, experienced a drive-by relationship, or wondered if you’re the last single girl left on the face of this planet – this book is for you. Cindy sympathizes with the often jaw-droppingly unbelievable situations in love and life that single ladies frequently find ourselves in and helps find the silver lining in even the most heinous of awkward dates or painful breakups. Plus, she’ll just make you laugh. (Until you’ve completely forgotten about the awkward date or bad breakup.)

2. He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt – Over the years since this book first came out, I’ve tried to argue with it. I’ve tried to declare it false. I’ve tried to say that relationships aren’t as black and white as Greg presents them to be in this book, but you know what? They are. The truth is, relationships ARE more black and white than they are fifty shades of grey…and that’s a good thing. Because when you change your mindset and start to look at relationships as black and white instead of every shade in between, you cut out a lot of drama and heartache and nonsense. The honest truth is, as Greg says so succinctly in this book: “A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.” It just doesn’t get any more black and white, cut and dry than that. The only compliant I have about this book is that it came out before the era of texting and Facebooking and IM’ing and DM’ing and Twitter and all the other various ways people communicate now…so I’d love to see an updated version! But even though the game of love has changed a bit since its publication, the truths in this book still hold true, and will still save you a LOT of heartache when dealing with a wishy-washy, is he or isn’t he? type of man.

1. I’ve never Been to Vegas but My Luggage Has: Mishaps & Miracles on the Road to Happily Every After by Mandy Hale – This book travels deep into the journey of the single woman, covering serious and relevant topics like heartbreak, struggling with anxiety, abusive and toxic relationships, overcoming depression, rediscovering a new career path for yourself after one abruptly ends, and everything in between. And while it does break down some serious issues…there are also some SERIOUS laughs along the way! I think this book will inspire you to let go of the idea of what “Happily Ever After” is supposed to look like, stop obsessing about the destination, and instead, rejoice in the journey. The wild, adventurous, uncertain, often crazy but always magical journey of the single woman.

What books have spoken to you as a single woman? Which books did I miss and need to add to a future list? Comment below with your picks!