Is it a rough patch or time to call it quits?

Is it a rough patch or time to call it quits?

If you’re wondering whether your feelings of annoyance towards your partner are just a phase, or sign that you’ve just stopped caring all together, it can be very confusing. Is it time to sack off the relationship because you’ve completely fallen out of love? Or is it salvageable and you’re just going through a bit of a rough patch? How can you ever know?

In any relationship the things to look out for are those small irritations or upsets that seem too small to make a fuss about, because those are the things that over many months or years can quietly destroy the love between you. It’s also important to avoid going to bed angry, try to at least reach a temporary truce and agree to return to the argument or the issue at a later specified time.

Once lost, love is very difficult to regain. It is vital that you cherish what you have now to help it grow and deepen, that way it can last forever. Here are 12 signs you might have fallen out of love….

1. When communicating with your partner (starting conversation, sending texts etc) feels like a sense of duty rather than something you enjoy. The compulsion and excitement to reach out and connect with your partner isn’t there. When you do connect/communicate, you do so out of duty because it’s part of the relationship habits you have built up.

2. You have a mild feeling of dread when they get in touch. When receiving a message or call from your partner, there is mild feeling of dread or indifference to hearing from them.

3. You stop thinking ahead. You don’t think further ahead that the next week or month because you aren’t inspired to plan a future with your partner anymore.

4. You stop planning little things that would make them happy – like picking up their favourite drink or recording a programme you know they like. All the triggers you would have as reminders of your partner you ignore. If you spot their favourite sweets or chocolate while out you’ll walk straight past without a second thought.

5. You just exist alongside them. Your lives become parallel rather than entwined. There’ll be no PDA even when sat on sofa together.

6. You’re constantly criticising them. You can’t help yourself from internal and external criticism. Anything and everything annoys you.

7. You start to leave them out of plans. You’ll go out or do nice things without even asking them to come along.

8. You wish they would be busy on a Friday night so you can just chill or go out with friends and not have to spend time with them.

9. You start to separate yourself emotionally. You think about yourself more and them much, much less.

10. You start to just not care so much. All the things that did bug you, like when they were late home, when they made plans on a Saturday night and you wanted a night together, just don’t bug you and the anger has gone, and you just don’t really care one way or the other.

11. When you think about them you feel a bit meh. Not excited, not angry, just meh.

12. You find excuses not to have sex… a lot. Mostly because that means being near them and communicating in some way. Or maybe you feel comfortable with them, but the sexual attraction is no longer there.

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Why you should dump your waste of space boyfriend!

Why you should dump your waste of space boyfriend!

Here’s why should should ditch your crappy boyfriend, like, now! They may sound a bit insane but are all actually totally legit.

1. He never cries. If you’re balling your goddam eyes out at a YouTube video of an elderly couple explaining how they’ve kept their love alive for 70 years, and he doesn’t so much as bat an eyelid he’s either a sociopath or an android. Both are dumpable offences.

2. He never gives you compliments. Just because you dress for yourself, and feel empowered to make your own choices about what you wear, that doesn’t mean the odd, “you look stunning babe” wouldn’t go amiss. Never rely on his compliments to feel good, but if he never EVER says anything nice then he can actually F off.

3. He refuses to go to your favourite restaurant because he doesn’t like it. I’m vegetarian and once had a boyfriend who wouldn’t take me to this meat-free place I was obsessed with because he “needed meat”. In retrospect I should have ended it then and there.

4. He makes you split every bill down to the penny. Is there anything that makes you lose your woman-boner quicker than an absolute stinge-ball? If every meal ends in him getting his pocket-sized abacus out and working out how much you owe considering you ate 65% of the dessert, he’s a prick. Get rid.

5. He doesn’t take an interest in your work. You literally spend your entire life there. If he can’t magic at least five work-related questions out of his stupid arse every time you see each other then he’s gotta go.

6. He won’t talk about sex. What weird sex stuff does he want to try? How does he like his balls to be touched? Does he want to tie you up like a suckling pig at a medieval feast? If you don’t know, because he gets all freaked out when you ask, don’t waste your vagina’s valuable time.

7. He doesn’t crack you up. It should be physically impossible to have sex with someone you don’t find hilarious. All the best relationships are built on having one giant laugh, so if you’re just sat there in stony silence all date-long what is even the point?

8. He doesn’t ask questions. Honestly, the amount of dudes I’ve dated who think it’s totally acceptable not to bother to get to know me / bang on about themselves 24/7 is ludicrous. Isn’t this like the first rule of dating?

9. He treats you like an afterthought. He ‘meant’ to text you inviting you to his house party but ‘totally forgot’. Truth probably is he doesn’t want you there because he wants to crack on with other women. If he really respected you, you’d be the first person he invited.

10. He’s always either hanging or tired when he meets you. Like, if he knew he was seeing you then why didn’t he do a face mask, shave his three-month leg hair growth off and go to bed at 8pm? If he CBA to make all the effort then he isn’t worth your effort.

11. He won’t compromise because you “shouldn’t want to change” him. If he doesn’t realise all healthy relationships require a teeny bit of compromise on both parts, then he is essentially an adult baby you will have to guide through even the most basic facets of human life so it’s easier just to abort mission now.

12. Sometimes it feels like he’s talking just to hear his own voice. Weirdly enough, you’re not that interested in his bullshit monologue about the new series of Family Guy. You’ve told him countless times you think it’s utter crap, so why is he still doing that annoying Peter Griffin impression?

13. He never treats you. No of course you don’t want a bloody bunch of flowers, or snazzy piece of jewellery every time you hang you, you’re not that basic. But if he never shows up to the cinema with your favourite sweets, or offers to pay for a round of drinks because you had a tough week, or writes you a cute little card just to say how great your butt is, dump him ASAP.

Why you should have more morning sex!

Why you should have more morning sex!

Because it is, hands down, the best time of day to get your freak on. Now, I’m not saying EVERY morning is a morning sex morning, god no. Sometimes you’ve just got to snooze until the last possible minute and then go to work in the shirt you slept in. But say, on a weekend, when you don’t need to be up and about, morning sex is the actual best. Here’s why.

1. You’re probably already naked. And even if you do always sleep in pjs like me, they’re very, very easy to get off. None of that trying to unhook your bra in the least ungraceful way possible.

2. You get to stay in bed longer. Who in their right, human mind would ever say that was a bad thing?

3. Your day will just be better because of it. The endorphins and oxytocin will put you in such a good mood, your colleagues will think you’re still pissed.

4. There are no “I’m too full/tired” excuses. Sex at night is all well and good, but it hinges on a delicate balance of factors like not eating too much and not being absolutely shattered. First thing in the morning, you’re neither nursing a food baby nor nodding off in front of The One Show.

5. You’re more likely to be sober. Unless you’ve been on a giant bender the night before, morning sex equals sober sex. Sober sex is more intimate and it feels better (your genitals aren’t numbed by alcohol – go you!). Plus, you’ll actually remember it.

6. It’s when you have the most energy. You’ve literally been sat on your arse for eight hours so will have the energy levels of a puppy bounding through a field.

7. If you’re banging a guy, he’ll last longer. Testosterone levels in dudes are at their highest in the morning because they’ve been saving it up all night – this means he’ll probs be able to have sex for longer. Hallelu!

8. Brekkie will taste even better. Sure, I have no science to back this one up. But after a morning of sexing and snuggling, it feels like you deserve pancakes!

9. You can see everything. If you wait until night fall to get jiggy with it, it’ll be dark right? In the morning, with the sun streaming through the blinds, you get to see your sex partner in all their glory. Hot AF.

10. You can’t beat that natural smell. Love your partner’s humanly scent? It’s obvs going to be at its best in the morning pre-shower.

11. You can do the laziest position ever and not feel remotely bad about it. Spooning? Mish? Anything goes when it’s 6am.

12. You’re not remotely stressed. You know those evenings where the idea of so much as looking at someone else’s genitals makes you want to vomit? You’re so incredibly stressed from the day’s BS and have one thousand things on your mind, getting naked and clearing your head long enough to have an orgasm is the last thing you can physically do. In the morning none of this is an issue – you are chill queen.

13. You’ve got bragging rights for the rest of the day. Why not spend the next eight hours pissing your colleagues right off by telling them how awesome your morning sex was. They’ll hate the TMI but you will feel smug as anything.

 

When guys are so proud when it comes to sex!

When guys are so proud when it comes to sex!

Perhaps because the bar has been set so extraordinarily low, men expect to be rewarded for every teeny tiny gesture during sex that isn’t 100 percent selfish. Every man who isn’t solely focused on his own orgasm thinks he’s a feminist gift to all women, and low-key believes he deserves a pat on the back for every good sex deed he performs. Here are 15 sex things guys get way too hyped about.

1. Going down on you for approximately 15 seconds. So great that you’ve finally realised oral sex feels amazing for most women, but don’t act like you’re god’s gift to women just because you did the bare minimum of oral required to look generous and #woke. If you’re gonna go down there, make it count!

2. Making you orgasm one single time. Oh, haha congrats, it’s the 16th time we’re hooking up, and you finally figured out how to make this enjoyable for me and not just you. Excuse me for not giving you a high-five for this.

3. Making a big deal of saying, “I love it when you come.” Buddy, literally all of us get some amount of enjoyment out of making our partners orgasm. It feels good to make the person you’re boning feel good. You did not invent orgasm altruism, and I refuse to give you the Nobel Prize you so crave for this.

4. Being “cool” with whatever pubic hair situation you have going on. I see that you’re trying to be “woke” and accepting of my hygiene routine, but pal, none of this is for you, and none of it requires your commentary or approval.

5. Letting you know it’s OK if you don’t want to give them a blow job. Yeah, obviously it’s OK for me to never do anything I don’t want to do, but thanks for the permission.

6. When you ask what they like, and they say, “I like whatever you like ;-).” The best is when they say, “I just like turning you on.” That is not an answer! Just please tell me what you like so this experience can be enjoyable for both of us.

7. Pausing mid-thrust to stroke your chin, stare into your eyes, and say, “You’re so pretty.” I can see how men would think this is romantic and cool because it’s in a lot of movie sex scenes, but eye contact does not make IRL women melt and fall instantly in love.

8. Telling you they want to wait. My personal philosophy is that guys think women will throw themselves at them if they say some shit like, “I care about you too much to have sex with you on the first date.” What they don’t realise is this is just another way of saying “I can’t respect any woman who would slut it up with me on date one, and I respect you, therefore we can’t fuck.” OK, pal. That’s just fancy slut-shaming and I can see straight through it.

9. Offering to get a condom. Women go through hell to make sure they stay baby-free on their terms, so excuse me for not jumping for joy when you offer to go buy a £5 pack of condoms that’ll keep us from passing STIs off to each other.

10. Realising your nipples exist. Who is spreading the rumor that all women love it when men suck on their nipples like breastfeeding infants for five minutes per nipple during foreplay? Somehow each man who does this thinks he’s the first to do it, like he’s the Indiana Jones of boobs. The best is when they peep up at you with their little eyes as if to see how much you’re loving all this tiresome nipple action.

11. Realising your clit exists. Honestly.

12. Anything that isn’t missionary. They especially love to do that thing where they throw your legs over their shoulders, so you ended up folded in half like a pretzel while they bounce around on top of you. I love the enthusiasm behind wanting to do fancy things in bed, but maybe check to make sure your partner is enjoying herself before you get all proud.

13. Marathon oral sex sessions, just to prove a point. I’m talking, like, the dude’s been down there for 20-plus minutes, you are more than ready to move onto the next thing, but he insists, insists, on making you come first. How do you politely tell someone, “Please stop, my vagina has lost all feeling, this is ludicrous.”

14. How long they can last. Look, an hour in, this is just starting to get physically painful for me. I don’t care how long you can keep that thing hard. The best sex lasts no more than 15 minutes, excluding foreplay. Anything else is just a meaningless, hyper-masculine bragging right.

15. Size/girth/shape/whatever of their penises. Women 👏 don’t 👏 care. 👏

The Dirtiest Items In Your Office

The Dirtiest Items In Your Office

While the majority of us are incredibly house proud and feel rewarded by cleaning our homes within an inch of their lives, we probably don’t put the same amount of effort into the other place we spend up to 40 hours each week – the office.

Which might be why Hassle.com, the UK and Ireland’s leading marketplace for booking a trusted cleaner online, have compiled the 10 dirtiest items in your desk space, just to give you an idea about where to spray the disinfectant asap.

1. Water Cooler/Dispenser

The prime opportunity to sneak away from your desk (and catch up on office politics), but a known magnet for gathering all kinds of nasty bacteria, with 2.7 million germs per square inch on the average water spigot, according to the Public Health Organisation.

2. Office fridge

Bacteria thrives in an environment of slightly gone-off sandwiches and 12 day-old milk. An office fridge should be cleared out every two days, especially when the average fridge contains 7,850 bacteria colony-forming units per square centimeter.

3. Microwave

Depending on the size of your office, the microwave can be used up to 30 times each day, harboring a combination of meat and vegetable particles, and creating a nest for bacteria. Germs need warmth, food and moisture to multiply, and allowing the internal top to be splattered with food particles can cause a potential health risk.

4. Soap dispenser

You’ve downed your morning coffee, gone for a bathroom break and wash your hands with the soap dispenser. However, you would be wise to be wary of just how dirty the dispensers can be. A study by the University of Arizona found that a quarter of office dispensers are contaminated with fecal bacteria. If you wash your hands thoroughly, that’s fine, but be wary of the amount of germs you gain just before you wash ’em.

5. Your desk

With more than 10 million germs to be found on the average work desk, it accommodates 400 times more bacteria than a toilet seat. To keep your work space clean and healthy, wipe down weekly with an antibacterial wipe or vinegar-based solution.

6. Your keyboard

Keyboards are notorious for harboring bacteria, especially as we press every single key continuously for up to 8 hours each day. Skin cells, food residue and sweat mature and spread in such a small space comparatively. with more than 3,295 bacteria per square inch, shake and wipe down your keyboard weekly with a slightly damp cloth.

7. Your mouse

Given that your hand can also be placed on a mouse for up to 8 hours each day, they are heavily exposed to bacteria generated from sweat, food particles and dust. With 10% of office workers admitting to never cleaning their mouse, a study found that they can contain up to 1,676 microbes per square inch. A toilet seat has only a fraction of that number!

8. The printer and copier

With everyone battling it out to get their copies printed on time, the average printer and copier machine is touched up to 300 times a day – especially the interface and touch pad. This makes it a key nesting ground for nasty bacteria. Simply wipe over the surface and keypad with a PC wipe before each use.

9. Your headset or headphones

It’s common to see colleagues sharing headsets, but before each use, but it would be wise to find your own and store them for future use. Bacteria spreads like wildfire thanks to hair fibers, sweat and earwax, potentially causing facial and ear rashes as well as lice. After one hour of use, bacteria and germs can increase 700 times!

Is Technology The New Way To Get Over Your Ex?

Is Technology The New Way To Get Over Your Ex?

Technology has been put to some great uses over time; sharing information, enabling air travel, helping us find dates when nobody wants to speak to us in real life. But up until now, there’s been one glaring hole in the capabilities of technology: fixing broken hearts.

Break-ups are never nice. They drag on and on, make you feel like shit, and smudge your mascara on the daily. So thank god for the arrival of new app, Mend, created by former Google employee Ellen Huerta, which claims it’ll cure your heartbreak.

The app, Mend, which offers the first week for free, will act as a “personal trainer for heartbreak”, according to The New York Times, guiding you on how to deal with your ever-changing emotions and helping you avoid making awful decisions like Facebook stalking your ex or texting them in the middle of the night when drunk.

The app consists of a ’28 day heartbreak cleanse’, which requires the newly single person to listen to a short audio excerpt every day to help you. The user’s progress is then tracked, giving them visible evidence of their emotional improvement, as well as offering “breakup advice 24/7 from our amazing community”.

And to be fair, this could be a real help. When I was broken-hearted, I suddenly developed this weird habit of googling incessantly, trying to find stories of other people who were in the same situation as me so I wouldn’t feel so alone. Which is why I think the feeling of a shared community and active encouragement to feel better in your own time is definitely something that would help people experiencing a a break-up start to feel more ‘normal’ again.

The app is gender neautral, not identifying users as either sex and only referring to your previous partner as “your ex”, so as not to assume it was necessarily a heterosexual relationship. And that’s another positive, maybe this gender anonymity might help men – who as a general stereotype tend to keep their emotions about a break-up to themselves as opposed to opening up about it – address their feelings and help them get over their former partners.

So now you know where to go when your heart next gets broken. There’s nothing like having a plan in life. What do you think about this? Would you give it a go if you were heart broken and struggling to get over a failed relationship? I’d love to hear your thoughts as always….

If he’s just not into you…

If he’s just not into you…

One of the most difficult parts of dating in 2017 is that sometimes, it can feel a little bit too casual. Connecting with people has never been easier, but we have so many options and opportunities that it makes sense to spread out our energy and keep things low key. So if we really like someone, we don’t reveal our feelings until we’re sure they’re going to be reciprocated. But we can’t count on the person we’re seeing to be any braver than we are. Mild apathy is the order of the day, and we can waste months asking our friends about the hidden subtext of a message that just says “‘Sup?”

The trouble is that it’s hard to know whether the person you like is playing it cool, or simply not bothered. And you deserve someone who is bothered. Someone who will be bold and brave and make you feel like you’re living within the pages of a lavish love story, and not an advert for insurance where someone absent-mindedly pets a dog on the head. No matter how much you think you like someone, it’s really only worth pursuing them if they’re going to pursue you back. The earlier you can see that it’s not meant to be, the sooner you’ll be back on the path to finding the perfect person. If any of the following signs apply to your current relationship, it’s time to look elsewhere.

Messages are short, factual, and don’t contain any questions

If they’re replying with one word answers, they’re not busy or mysterious – they just don’t want to have a conversation with you. It’s possible to send a lengthy text from a train or a toilet. We treat our iphones like they’re a third hand. If they never message more than two sentences, or get in touch just to say they’re thinking of you, it’s time to stop thinking about them.

They don’t plan dates

Someone who likes you will be desperate to take you to their favourite restaurants, the prettiest parks and the buzziest bars. Someone who doesn’t care about a proper relationship with you will, if pressed, say “Um, dunno. The pub?”

A past partner keeps coming up

If they have children from a previous relationship, their partner is always going to be part of their life – but otherwise, any excessive mentioning of an ex is a bad sign. Someone who likes you will want to make you feel as though there was never anyone else for them. It’s the Garden of Eden and you’re Adam and Eve, or Steve. But if the ex keeps coming up, they’re probably going to sneak back in. Stay away.

They have vague plans to leave the country

If they keep going on about a grown up gap year, and that they’re saving up for six months in Thailand “in a year or so” move on, before you get hurt. They’ll probably never go, but it’s a signal that they’re not serious about including you in their future.

They’re quite self-contained

If they’d rather go out with no jacket and get hypothermia than leave something in your house and have to retrieve it. They’d go five miles out of their way to find a library before they’d borrow a book from you, just in case they have to commit to staying with you while they read it. They’re not doing a Marie Kondo life declutter – they just don’t want to leave a trail of evidence that indicates you were ever together.

You never meet their friends

This person would drag you into a bush before they let you bump into their own mum. If you do see one of their colleagues at the pub, they might drop their hand, move their chair away and stare into the distance. No one lights up with recognition when you introduce yourself – but they might look slightly uncomfortable.

They avoid serious topics of conversation – especially about relationships

They drop dark hints about their unreliability, commitment issues and hereditary tendency to get rashes. They’re undecided about babies – “Maybe in ten, twenty years, they’ll probably invent the technology!” They are so worried that you’ll ask where things are going that they’d fake a power cut if they found you watching ‘Say Yes To The Dress’ on TV. They’re not the only one who can pull the plug – call time on it immediately.