Ok, so this weekend we had a little glimpse of sunshine, and all the stereotypical Welsh reactions were witnessed….
1. Your eyes will be streaming, you’ll look an absolute state, people will ask if you’re ok. Have you just broken up with your boyfriend? No, you’ve just got a million tiny pieces of pollen up your nose.
2. You’ll insist on ditching the red wine in favour of Pimms and fruity ciders. And insist on drinking said drinks outside. In just a t-shirt. When it’s only 12 degrees.
3. You’ll see a whole parade of topless men showcasing their paunches and tattoos, whilst cradling beers in a faint cloud of tobacco and BO. Dreamy, no?
4. You’ll start sporting an attractive new facial accessory. A pink, slightly flaky, crumbly nose. Ain’t sunburn grand?
5. Portable barbecues will sell out, and families and groups of friends across the country will enjoy charcoal coated sausages and raw burgers together. Yummo.
6. You’ll start to carry emergency sunglasses in your bag. Next to your umbrella, mind.
7. Ice lollies, ice creams, sorbets, slush puppies, ice cubes. You’ll insist on replacing your daily twenty cups of tea with anything cold, just to make a point that you’ve no longer got the heating on.
8. Because there are very few hot days of the year and they sort of take you by surprise, you’ll find yourself smiling at your neighbours, chatting to strangers in the supermarket (whilst paying for your crate of Pimms, five cartons of strawberries and pack of choc ices) and saying hi to people in the street. It’s a jolly time.
9. You’ll shave your legs. No biggie, except it’ll be the first time in six months.
10. You’ll decide to visit a park. A dog will almost attack you, a wasp will come close to your face, you’ll scream and dive to avoid a child on a bike, and you’ll see a group of teenagers hiding in the bushes getting drunk and wearing crop tops.
11. You’ll wear a bikini as underwear. Y’know, just in case.
12. You’ll think about ditching the pies, pasta bakes and potatoes for a light salad.
13. You’ll take your second duvet off your bed, which will leave you with only one duvet and three blankets. Risky.
14. You’ll wear the new gladiator sandals you bought in February (because you need to be prepared for an early summer, right?) and they’ll instantly make your feet bleed. Oh.
15. Boys will drive past you in very loud ugly cars with Kiss FM blaring out the windows. Oh please Mr Sexy, please come back and let me in your car, said no girl ever.
16. You’ll Instagram about four photos. A selfie in your sunglasses, a scenic shot of the park or beach, one of your ice cream and the classic hot dogs or legs set-up. We’re so predictable, right?
17. Chaffing. Eeeek.
18. You’ll spend 71% of the day exclaiming how warm it is and refreshing your iPhone weather app. LOOK, LOOK HOW WARM IT IS RIGHT NOW.
19. You’ll be positively happy, crazy person happy, because isn’t sunshine after a long, miserable winter, one of the loveliest feelings, ever?